This Just In

It was announced to the world yesterday that Mrs. Sarah Palin will begin contributing to the Fox News network in 2010. Those familiar with my blog, the news or politics in general are readily aware that Mrs. Palin recently celebrated the one year anniversary of her unsuccessful bid to become Vice President of the United States. Additionally, and more importantly, it's common knowledge that she is a devout Conservative, at least from the religious/moral standpoint (her fiscal record on paper would fall more along the lines of Democrat; but that's another story altogether.)
Now, the area of interest in this story is not Sarah Palin per say, but rather the Fox News network. It has been Fox's slogan, nay, dogma, that it is a fair and balanced source of news in a world dominated by "liberal media." With the addition of not one but TWO republican figures from the 2008 presidential race contributing (Mitt Romney being the second,) it would seem "fair and balanced" to deduce that Fox news has become a conservative bastion of sorts.
At this juncture, it is important to point out a very large but subtle caveat in the Fox news game plan: that they only claim to be actual "news" for 9 hours a day, for the hours of 9am-4pm, and 6pm-8pm. You read that correctly- a station calling itself "Fox News", is news less than half of the time. This sort of agenda-based presentation is no more a service to the public than QVC or MTV; it simply sings its own praises. But unlike these other networks, afforded with the designation of "news," it does so under the veil of nobility and trust- an honor not warranted by such a specious organization.

photo courtesy of http://conference.syncweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/sync_conference/2009/10/foxnews.jpg

Business as Usual

So it was about 1 week ago today that Frederick "Fritz" Henderson resigned his position as CEO of General Motors. Henderson replaced Rick Wagoner on March 31st of this year, at the request of President Barack Obama as part of GM's federal bailout and restructuring plan. This means that he was CEO for a total of 9 months, the same amount of time it takes for a woman to create a child. But did Henderson give this company a rebirth, or continue it down its path to doom?
In the original agreement with the GM, CEO Rick Wagoner agreed to accept a salary of $1/year while the company received federal bailout money (from TARP funds.) With Wagoner's departure so went that agreement, as Henderson refused to hold up the bargain in his place, instead receiving a total compensation valued at roughly $5.5 million for his 9 months as CEO. This means that he was paid $14/minute every minute for 9 months. Sleeping, eating, maybe working? $14/minute. Of course that is a completely unorthodox way of looking at it. So let's say for this period he was working 40 hours/week. This means that for the 9 months he was CEO he made nearly $4000/hour. This man made more in 1 hour that the average American household makes in a month.
What did Henderson do to elicit such high pay? Well, first his company filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in June, just 2 months after he took over. Then, in the period post bankruptcy between July 10th and September 30th, he led his company to post a $1.2 Billion loss, while other automakers such as Ford and Toyota reported profits.
So if business is an incentive based entity, rewarding hard work and results with compensation, it should follow that the CEO of Toyota pull in a hefty compensation package this year as well right? I mean, they didn't accept any bailout money, they were profitable (at least for one quarter), they have a market cap over 6 times GM and Ford; but alas, it was announced on June 25th that Akio Toyoda (yes the name looks like Toyota, because his grandfather created Toyota,) is taking a voluntary 30% cut in compensation (which was already rumored to be <$1 million US dollars.) This is a prime example of the disease that plagues America, the reason why our economy is in shambles- greed. Pay for top executives has swollen in our generation to approximately 300 times the average worker salary. Historically, this number was closer to 30. The avaricious behavior of collecting maximum compensation while the company providing it deteriorates is demonstrative of the proclivity of these suits in general. They don't care the cost- whether it be to the environment, the consumer of their product, future generations, hell even the hand that feeds them- they want their money and they want it now. This sort of tunnel vision is selfish, destructive, and is unfortunately what our businesses deem acceptable. Gross.

photo courtesy of http://showitortowit.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/rustygmlogo.jpg

Birthers Gone Wild

I find it rather amusing that in today's technologically advanced world- where identification is made using biometrics (such as retina scanning,) Federal government-issued passports and social security numbers, and even state-issued Driver's licenses- there are still groups calling for the antiquated and obsolete verification of a paper birth certificate. Americans have recently witnessed an all-out uprising in the "Birther movement"- a group of simple minded individuals bent on the notion that President Barack Obama is not in fact a natural born citizen of the United States. Of course there is one minor detail this imbecilic group overlooks; the absolute ease at which anyone can secure a forged document, let alone the most powerful man in the world. I could have purchased a fake ID in high school for $125; and they were good. You think that even if by some strange turn of events that there was actually a sliver of truth value to these accusations, that Obama couldn't just obtain a fake? At least DL's have lamination, holographic photos of the state flag and such. With birth certificates we're talking about a piece of paper with a signature. Mine actually has a different name on it, crossed out when my parents changed their minds! Might as well ask for his social security card. Jeez.
What I find even more amusing though, practically hysterical, are the recent statements made by my perennial favorite for nitwit of the Millennium- Sarah Palin. Mrs. Palin claims on her facebook (my how I love that she has to speak to the world through facebook- is the media that exhausted with her?) that these sorts of questions are fair game given her history of being badgered over "her" mentally retarded child "Trig," and that she would make it an issue if she were to run for president.
So I have come up with a challenge of my own for Mrs. Palin; President Obama has now on numerous occasions provided the requested documentation to the nay-saying birther group. I now ask this of you- I don't want a birth certificate, or a driver's license, or doctor's bills or any of that easily forged, written documentation- I want a photo. Yes, I want a photograph of you, between March and April 2008, pregnant. You can't tell me that the governor of Alaska went the final 2 months of her "pregnancy" without having a single photo taken. Of course pictures can be and often are photoshopped, but professionals easily spot modificaitons, and making a woman look 9 months pregnant isn't exactly mild alteration.
Feel free to attach them in the comment section below.
Thx.

photo courtesy of http://uspoliticsguide.com/images/birth_certificate_2.jpg

Going Rogue?

According to Dictionary.com;
Rogue-[rohg]
-noun
A dishonest, knavish person.
A scoundrel.
A tramp or a vagabond.
A usually inferior organism.
-verb
To Cheat
To Uproot and destroy.


So which of these definitions is it exactly that Ms. Plain, oh excuse me, Ms. Palin subscribes to?
I have made it no secret that I harbor nothing more than contempt for this obnoxious dimwit. Her repeated attempts to steal the national spotlight through various antics (the "Bridge to nowhere", the firing of the police chief because she felt "intimidated", that ludicrous VP candidacy, $150K RNC clothing budget for said candidacy, her philandering daughter and the subsequent David Letterman debacle, "her" retarded child, her sudden resignation from Governor, her communicating to the world via Twitter and Facebook.) This woman is a social whore on the scale of Paris Hilton, and will really stop at nothing to get media attention (which of course leads me to ask; where's the sex tape already?)
Her fervor for stardom is further exemplified in the current edition of Newsweek magazine. In a cleverly devious, or dare I say, rogue (?), move the editorial staff at Newsweek used a photo from a previous shoot of Palin's to show just to what extent she will go in her unwavering self promotion. Whereas she calls the cover "sexist," it is hard to argue that anyone else would have posed for such a picture at any point in their political careers.
But this is what sets Sarah Palin apart, what makes her a "Rogue." That she wants to be different. And there's nothing inherently wrong with different. But being different does NOT by necessity make something better. Sure, there are cases where the variant can be vastly superior (the iPhone) but being different by definition does make you a deviant. So, unless you are brilliant and creative, producing fruitful ventures and flush with new ideas for society (e.g. Howard Hughes, Andy Warhol, Richard Branson, Hunter S. Thomson, Bjork) then you are the deviant wearing the white jacket on a steady regiment of antipsychotics.
So, Ms. Palin- if you want to be different, don't blast the media for characterizing you as such. But if you're ready to admit that the things making you unique are in fact detrimental to your character and name and do nothing to advance your political or social career in a positive way, then do so post-haste, slip back into mediocrity, and stay out of our lives. That, or finally release the sex tape Americans have been waiting for.

photos courtesy of http://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn288/fashionblogger/sarah_palin_makeup.jpg and http://newsbusters.org/static/2009/11/Palin.jpg

Where do these people come from?

I'll make this one quick, as my mind is on my next blog topic; Ms. Sarah Palin. But I did promise a story displaying ordinary peoples lack of processing power, and here is one of the most recent examples.
It was a few days before Halloween, and I was in the search for the jacket that would complete my Wolverine outfit. As displayed in the accompanying photo, I believe this one did the trick quite nicely, though I had various reservations about its dubious origin. You see, this jacket was stumbled upon at a costume rental shop; not just any rental shop, but one of the seediest, skankiest rental shops I have come to witness. In its previous glory as a grocery store, the now makeshift display cases served as the freezers for various pre-made entrees, vegetables and desserts. In its current form, the yardsale-esque arrangement of garments and ornaments spawned an odor far transcending even the dankest of Antique or Second-hand stores; more appropriately it would be likened to a morgue or rendering plant. This was the kind of place where you expect the employees to be social pariahs; which leads me to my encounter with one of them.
Having made the decision to don this possibly louse-infected apparel for the sake of making the costume, I inquired as to the price. The employee at the desk, salivating over the arrival of her delectable lunch cuisine (Jack in The Box tacos I believe; I could see them through the now translucent paper bag,) replied that it would be $10 to rent, $30 to buy. Deciding against the purchase, I agreed to the terms and proceeded to pay for the rental. She informed me it would be a deposit of $40. First questioning, I then figured that would cover rental and purchase if I didn't return the garment punctually. When I was subsequently asked for the $10 rental fee in addition, I of course questioned the homely clerks' logic. This effectively makes a $30 jacket cost $50 if I lost it. She stated a string of numbers to her (and only her,) satisfaction and requested payment. Now understanding why this cretin worked in a seasonal costume rental shop, I handed over payment and exited with my attire...

First thing's First

I've been meaning to get this out of the way for some time now but have been quite delinquent in the execution; addressing the reason for this blogs existence.
Well, it seems these days just about every asshole around with even transient access to the internet finds it to be their right, no, their duty to blog about the daily goings on and trivial, perhaps minimal, human interactions they incur. I have found that if I am to keep up with the Jones' that I needed to get my ass on here and do some writing post haste. Additionally, it has been noted by many an acquaintance that I have a unique if not aberrant aspect about me, particularly in my interaction with the more intellectually challenged denizens of our fine society. In the spirit of comic relief in this increasingly despondent and melancholy world, I am choosing to share some of these stories with anyone willing to read on.
Fortunately, my constant thirst for knowledge and world experience lands me in rather unusual situations, allowing for virtual file cabinets of such interactions, the first installment to be addressed in my next posting...

Yuck

Today, I had the misfortune of spending some time in Winco foods in order to obtain a certain item for a dinner I was cooking tonight (bean sprouts for Pad Thai, couldn't find them anywhere else.) Anyway, as I await the completion of my purchase, I can't help but notice the bleached blonde burnout in front of me donning a jet black shirt adorned with imitation diamonds in the lettering of "High Maintenance." Really? I wasn't sure what was more revolting- the fact that she thinks it is EVER okay to make such a brash statement about her persona, as though it were endearing; or the fact that she wore said garment whilst packaging her own groceries within the sacred walls of Winco foods. She may not be High Maintenance- but she certainly is the smartest sacker in town!
Odds this woman is on welfare: even.